“Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you”

I was in the front of the line during assembly talking to my friends waiting for assembly to officially start. Mind you my friends were short and I was tall hence I was definitely not where I was supposed to be. I was ‘gisting’ with my friends about the weekend and reminiscing over the fun day we had in Silverbird Galleria, Victoria Island. Yeah that was once a hot spot for teenagers. Suddenly some girl taps my shoulder and shouts “MOVE! MOVE!”. I turned around to see who was shouting that early Monday morning.

*It’s not every day shout and show yourself. Sometimes act civilised* (How I wish I knew this phrase before now) lol

Yeah where was I? I was still turning my long neck to find out whom the mammal shouting was. I completely turn around and realise it’s my set mate (She wasn’t in my class but we were in the same year). You could see steam coming out of her face just because of I was occupying her space in the line. (But but it’s never that deep. *sigh*)

Anyway, as irritated as I was, I replied, “you don’t speak to people like that”. (Why did she have to shout at me like that though?) I turned back to my friends and continued talking. This babe continued shouting o! She was like “Would you move this Black girl” (lol we are getting somewhere). Feeling myself I replied back, “it’s black beauty” *Flips the front of my all back and base*. She now said the worst, “Yeah sure BLACK BEAUTY THE HORSE”

Dead

Dead

DEAD!!!!

Brief: I just entered secondary school. This was in year 7 or JS1. This famous secondary school was an all-girls secondary school in Nigeria. Coming into secondary school, I was skinny, tall, Black with thick long black natural hair. I was really dark. I am still dark but my colour then was like darkness chai. I was so quiet because I was avoiding intense arguments with some girls before they will start referring to my flaws. I was so self-cautious. That’s what girls do to other girls to be honest. This girl in question was light skinned; not the prettiest but you could see her in the dark, at least. She was tall, skinny with short hair. I can remember this day so vividly as if it was yesterday. I even think our school uniform made it clear whether you are skinny or on the plus side. Nothing could hide under that uniform. Lol. 

Okay back to my story. She called me “Black beauty the horse”. Now I don’t know if you know the story book called black beauty the horse. If you haven’t heard about it. Here’s a picture 

It was about a black horse that lived… bla bla bla.(read the book) I just turned around, went to the front and started crying. I did not stay at the back that day. If not everyone will know I was crying. The back was where gist used to fly. The front had ‘some’ quite girls. I tried to reduce my height. I don’t know how I did it but I was there throughout the assembly. Now, the main issue was that she called me A HORSE. OMG! I hated myself for being black because it made me a target for such insults and the girl? I hated her more for just being her. Lol. I did not tell anyone about this until 7 years ago Lol (yes 6-7 years and I still remembered) I saw her on social media making videos to empower the youth of this generation. I was like “so she is still alive and healthy and she is doing good *shocked face*”. I was so upset at her because she made me feel like dirt for so many years but as I was vexing in my little bubble. My brother pointed out something to me. “UGO it has been 7 years o, what happens to forgiveness? All you need to remember is what you learnt from that encounter with her not the pain she caused you”. He said something that made me feel stupid “Are you ugly?” I said, “NO” without thinking twice about it. Like I knew myself. I knew I was spice. Lol.

Now lessons learnt

1.     How dare you let someone dictate how you feel about yourself? Remember 

2.     Do not listen to anything they say. Turn deaf ears because if you hear just a tiny bit, of what they have to say, you will begin to reassess yourself in a way you should not. In reference to my story, at a point I was classifying people my skin colour, Ugly.

3.     Walk away or if you want to make the person feel stupid, start laughing. It gets to them.

4.     Say a quick prayer for them. Why? Because their hearts are so hard, mallet can’t break it. So God needs to soften their hearts.

5.     Lastly, forgive!!! Don’t fall into the trap of being rude to other people. I think I fell into that trap because when i was in senior secondary school, I became very insulting but in a joking manner. Still not an excuse but don’t be like them. That is the worst thing you can do to yourself, making another person feel the way you did. It’s never that deep.

I am glad to say I forgave the girl. I supported her youth development movement. I remember I told my brother not to like her page but after a while, I realised it wasn’t worth my stress. She is doing so well now and in my eyes she’s become so beautiful. It’s so nice when you see everything like roses, butterflies, basically the things you like. Maybe it’s because I forgot about what she did to me and picked the lesson Everyone is beautiful. That is the most important lesson today guys.

Bless

xx

-UgoTheGogo

Hey guys!! thanks for reading my posts. I would be vlogging guys so be prepared. Trust my tales by moonlight skills to be portrayed. I have a lot to talk to you guys about and ways to motivate you to follow your dreams. Let me leave you in suspense

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