So I saw this challenge and I was like, this would be such a fun and
encouraging thing to do. " I am totally going to do this...........later
".
I am not equipped enough to inspire someone else. I haven't gotten to
that point yet, I still need people to invest In me. These are the thoughts
that came barreling through my head almost immediately. And for a long time
this has been my struggle.
I always pray for The Lord to use me but whenever opportunities come
especially when they come in the form of mentoring someone else spiritually or
helping them grow, I run away. No I am not a bad person and I do want with all
my heart to be able to pour into someone else but the devil always tries to lie
to me that I am not capable.
This week I decided to say no. This is where the Holy Spirit really took
charge. Sunday morning on my way to church, a friend who is one of the
youth leaders at my church and I were talking. He told me that he would like to
see me being more actively involved in running our bible study. My first
reaction was excitement but just as quickly as it came, it left. Almost
instantly I started worrying, I'm not there yet, I'm really busy right now, I'm
not qualified and all these other thoughts. He encouraged me to pray about it
and I told him I would, but I had already made a decision to not do it.
We got to church and when it was time for the word I prayed as I always
do on Sundays. "Lord let me be blessed by your word today and let it speak
to me." And then the guest minister started preaching on worship and
fruitfulness. Halfway through the sermon, I was crying because I felt like God
was talking directly to me. She preached about what it means to be fruitful in
Gods house. The holy spirit kept telling me, if you do not start now, you are
never going to ever feel qualified enough. A friend told me, if you don't
realize you can impact people now, because you will constantly keep having
higher goals that you haven't accomplished yet, you will never feel capable of
impacting others.
I left feeling convicted by the Holy Spirit to step completely out of my
comfort zone (Introvert alert) and do more this year for God. Also, in line
with my taking bigger steps for God, I decided to take a little sister in my
sorority (Sigma Phi Lambda incase you were wondering) this semester which I was
previously not going to do. If you are reading this please pray along with me
that God uses me to bless her and help her grow in him this year, and that also
I would be a light for those in my bible study and in school in general.
Lastly for anyone who has been struggling with this, you are not alone,
keep praying and let the spirit lead you, not the other way around, and hold on
to this verse with me keeping in mind our God is an amazing God, and he will
use only those who are willing to be used.
Zechariah 4:10 New
Living Translation (NLT)
Do not despise these small beginnings,
for the Lord rejoices to see the work
begin, to see the plumb line in
Zerubbabel’s hand.
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